othelladub's Diaryland Diary



... don't you hate it when people are pretentious

as fuck, and think they know everything? far too

many people have this tendency, and it's

ridiculous- It does nothing to imbue upon others

one's assets or positive qualities. Yet we all

do it, or have seen people do it. Why do people

insist on being pompous asses, on raising

themselves above others with subtle verbal barbs,

or tests of knowledge? Is this the sign of a

mature adult. It's just silly, and reveals more

about the person's insecurities and inability to

for a structured argument than anything else.

Something which I greatly respect in people, and

which I myself still need to work on, is the

ability to admit that you are wrong, or that

you don't know something. THAT demonstrates

maturity That's really a sign of wisdom. People

who have an answer for everything are full of

shit. I stick with the people who raise their

hands and ask questions. People who are

confused by the idiocy of this world, and the

assholes in it, are far more likely to change the

world in small increments, than the

pompous blowhards who are most often heard.

I know this because I know everything.


So yesterday I was in a car accident. Ok, so I shouldn't start a sentence with a preposition.

Anyhow, I went to deposit my check which was airmailed me via the wonderful folks at "AIRBORNE EXPRESS", and things were looking up. I pulled into the parking lot in my usual erratic fashion, and I noticed two open spaces. But being the lazy fuck that I am, I decide to drive on, hoping to find a spot as close as possible to the entrance of the bank, sparing me any unnecesary walking (I used to run 6 miles a day, and I guess this is my way of evening things out). Well, lo and behold, no other spots materialize, so I throw my pimpmobile into reverse - in an attempt to get back to the open spots I so recently passed. Little did I suspect some GUIDO had bellied up to my rear bumper, and was shadowing my ass like Richard Simmons in some Industrial Warehouse on Ecstacy. Well, I heard a loud "SMASH/CRASH/BASH!!" and a thunderous boom! ..

and I thought I had perhaps backed into concrete. But no, it was only this obsessive jackhole who made me sign his paper saying I had backed into him. I had backed into him, and I didnt want to argue, and he had threatened to track down the police. He was actually a pretty nice guy, just very anal retentive about me signing this piece of paper admitting I'd backed into him. We exchanged insurance policies and phone numbers, and that was that. My insurance will almost surely go up, unless I manage to pay for a new bumper (and god knows what else) for this gas guzzler.

- Hopefully he doesn't wake up in the next day or two feeling excruicating pain, with a desire to sue. -

Other than that, I've had a lovely day. I went in to work today, even though Thursday was my last official day. I really didnt want to go, but, like a lot of things in my life, I went and worked anyway.

At least I'll cover the taxes in my next paycheck, and get a little more money to hold me over until the next shitty phase of my life arrives.

I'm not going to get into it, but I must be cursed.

I was nearly done with moving shit out of the store (glass, wood, frames, bolts, screwdrivers, wood, cardboard), when my boss dropped the end of a HEAVY FUCKING TABLE ON MY FOOT. It fucking hurt and all I could say was "FUCK FUCK FUCK" for roughly ten minutes. After that I was able to stumble around and pepper "SHIT" in with the "FUCKS" - I hurriedly abandoned my boss and his crony from some other store and headed upstairs (we were in some shitty downstairs warehouse, and, like Dante from CLeRKS, I wasn't even supposed to be there today!!) to Sears ASSET PROTECTION - basically a bunch of pencilnecked security geeks who eat pizza and keep teenagers from stealing panties and clock radios, and crack down on employees who make slave wages giving discounts to friends or family. ah well ... see, they had Ice.

So then I finally was able to overcome the pain enough to head back to the store, and my friend was there (he works in the comic shop next door) - My boss luckily was affording me the opportunity of worker's comp - so my company's insurance would pay for the subsequent X-Rays.

after that, I stopped at IN-N-OUT in my friends car, went and picked my friend's brother up and went to DAVE & BUSTERS to pick up his paycheck. - we waited in the car, listening to ART BELL's coast to coast radio show discussing alien life (on KOGO AM 600, san diego - On 1290 in Sacramento) - and finally his brother emerged with his check - argued with chris a bit while driving home - about stupid comic book and convention shit -

AND THEN - finally home. think my troubles have ended. Watch UFC title fight, with Tito Ortiz, huntington high Alumn- Tito kicks the shit out of the guy - we rewind the tape and watch it two or three more times - the Ultimate Fighting shit may finally gain some legitimacy soon - well, maybe not, but tito's one bad muthafucka either way -

so things are ok at this point- my foot is throbbing- I call Chris, as I left the Painkillers they prescribed me in his car. he returns, drops them off.

then all hell breaks loose. my dad wants to go back and pick up my car, for fear of it being towed. I dont really care but my foot still hurts like a muthafuck (basically about ten times worse than the time Eddie Jones was traded from the Lakers during the same week my girlfriend broke up with me. shitty week) My pops asks my best friend/roommate, to take his car, because then he can switch cars and drive mine back -- my friend refuses - my dad gets pissed- my friend gets upset, then pissed, and they start yelling at each other and generally acting like 5 year olds - I finally get fed up with it and start swinging at them both, pushing at both of them, punching at both of them, telling them what fuckups they both are for acting like this. I broke my foot, and these assholes are acting like spoiled brats, pissing and moaning about petty shit, starting shit with each other??? what the fuck?>

so finally I drive my car home.

and earlier in the night, my friend told me how this girl I kinda thought was cool was telling him how much she's into me, and how she thinks I'm so beautiful and smart and all this bullshit she probably says to every third guy, and I was like "wow" - but next time I see her, she'll probably just be jocking some other guy, so - fuck her. that is, until I see her, and she uses her feminine wiles, and my brain turns to mush.

to top this off, the other night I was online and the girl I used ta work with was on. And we had a really good vibe when we worked together. we just felt so good around each other it would've made me sick if it wasn't me in the heart of the storm. I don't get sentimental. or I try not to. like i said, trying to get that whole pompous thing going. but I feel so good around her, the second person I've felt that with. my girlfriend from college was the first. but this one understands me probably better than Casey did. no knock on casey, but she was a bit pompous at times too. good for her, though. she rocks. she just happens to be rockin' some other guy, but whateva - I'm over it. except when I'm really drunk.

But the girl I worked with, she - we've felt something there - It's -- and I dont say this lightly - but -- It really is love. Maybe its just familial love. But I care about her deeply, and that just plain sucks. She left to be with her boyfriend, so good for her. But she told me that she can't help but feel like she left something behind. I was thinking - "I miss you," and then she comes out and says, "I miss you, Brian". -- just shoot me, just shoot me now. But she loves me and I just think she's awesome and I was basically crying last night in bed because I realized that I'm in love with her, and I need to work that out of my system.

If not, I dont know how I will be able to reconcile sleeping with some other chick. Like this one girl who called me today, and was just telling me all this hoochie-coochie stuff. She is cool, and we'll probably hook up, but -- WELL SHIT, the girl I love has a man anyway, and the other chicks I like diss me repeatedly, so - what the hell, it's ok to have sex with someone if you make it clear that aforementioned activity is the primary currency between the two of you. Dag, that sounds evil. Not that I wouldn't want to hang with the chick, and go see movies and all that shit - but,

BUT she doesn't give me the chills, she doesn't make me feel at home - and this girl made me feel at home, she gave me a pure shot of love.



By the way, the THREE GEEKS COMIC book is ending, if anyone cares. the last few issues were a flipbook with "Innocent Bystander," another small press book with limited fan support. Both are said to be good reads, and the last issue (issue #6) was on the newsstand with the Title "Geeksville" - it has a premonition of what may happen to the comics industry in a worse case scenario - check it out.

07:33:17 - 2001-03-18


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