othelladub's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- makes me sick I've realized something very important in the past few days. I'm in love, and I don't want to screw it up. I know this feeling, and I know the tremendous amount of loss, and longing that can come out of it. I know the joy of discovering someone and being excited and happy to learn new things about them. I like feeling like a child, and being happy around them. If this isn't cynical enough for you, fuck off! I'm being sincere, and this is what I believe and feel, and everything in our generation is too cynical and dark-hearted anyway. Fuck this darkness! I want some happiness. I believe in love, just like I believe in god. You can't prove it, but it's there. It's something we live with every day. And when we're without it, we miss it. I've realized this because I've tried dating other girls since this beautiful person has been gone. I've kissed, talked, and even fooled around a bit. When a girl's rubbing your crotch and you don't have feeling for her - I've come to the conclusion - It's fucked up - - Even if she's having a good time, I'm not - - I don't want to be with another woman. It feels out of place. I know it because that's how you feel when you belong to someone. It's not right. You feel sick.
I think friendship and love should be valued above all else. And if you can't be a friend to someone, then you don't know what love is. I'm trying, I'm really trying. I want her to come back. I'm greedy, I know. I want her to be mine. But one thing I can't deny at this point. I'm already hers. be happy, Oregon girl ~ I'll see you soon ... 11:55 a.m. - 2001-04-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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