othelladub's Diaryland Diary


Finished, or: Zelda & F. Scott

My life takes twists and turns. My body twists and stretches. Sometimes I change up my diet, inhaling vitamin packets that I buy at 7-11. I keep thinking such a strategy will help my overall health or well-being, but the reward I am most often presented with is the radioactive urine, which leads to a question: are any of these minerals digested, and/or distributed throughout the body - or are they simply passed through in a neon, glow-stick fashion? Anyway, I don't wanna feel old, man ...I have much to offer and ingest from this world - I still want to learn, and be surrounded by fresh trees, and shade, and a light mist. I want a girl who will be my partner - the way I've always thought of it in my head is like a teammate - bear with me on this analogy - someone who will not only back me up in rough situations, but will push me when I am dragging creatively. That's a lot to ask, but it takes a person with just the right amount of delicate balance, tact, and perception, to really "get me". And I need to have that - I sense that - Of course, being a "team" in that I'm going to back her up, and not allow anyone to fuck up my perception of her - not my friends, family, anyone -- so, maybe I'm expecting too much, more than anyone could deliver. But that's what I want them to expect from me, too ...for me, a relationship is about growth, helping each other grow in our perceptions of the world, experiences of life - taking trips, etc.

There's a lot I've been expecting from myself also - and I haven't given up on that yet, so I guess there's hope. I need much more than mind-blowing, hardcore sex. Someone who is going to push me intellectually and creatively is key. Of course, if you throw in the mind-blowing sex, the meter gets thrown a little off, seeing as everything one says seems more profound and poignant after a spiritual, taxing experience that an exhaustive session of quality sex can be. Hmm ... did I say mind-blowing enough? So maybe I'll go work at another hotel after a six-month stint at this one. It would have to be more organized and comfortable than this one, I'd imagine. I'm kinda regretting not giving the interview at the Hilton a shot, after my roommate reported tips of $160 in the first night of his working room-service there. He's still pretty much bartending full-time, but he decided to try room service, and they've given him a day (or two) a week. So maybe I'll try that again. This same night, the Lakers clinched, winning the NBA championship. I was working the front desk at the hotel, so I was unable to soak in the atmosphere as fully as I would've liked, though I could hear cars beeping outside, and I did run back behind the counter, in the back, where my Lakers bucket hat was stored, and placed it proudly upon my head, in an act of solidarity with my more famous, basketball-playing brethren. So it was nice, because the front desk was halfway slow at that time, and I was able to watch them clinch in the last few seconds of game 5 in philadelphia. I'm not a big sports fan, and some girls I've dated have commented on that being a feature that they appreciated or enjoyed. Whatever. I see what lots of guys see in it. I see what a lot of women don't see in it. Personally, I've been a die-hard laker fan since I was a freshman in high school. My friend, the summer after junior-high, introduced me to them, one night when I was over at his house, watching Unsolved Mysteries or something. After that, they grew on me, and I started watching games and listening to them on the radio (often tuning in on a walkman, when I was on road trips with the wrestling team). And it's funny, because I caught them in the biggest slump of the past 30 years, right after Magic retired (the first time) and long before Kobe or Shaq showed up. As happy as I was to see them win it last year, I don't think anything will compare to the great fondness I had for some of those average, even losing teams, during the lean years. For me, it will always be about Nick Van Exel and Eddie Jones, and, to a certain extent - the big dope, Vlade Divac. They set the table for this current crop of primadonnas. God love 'em. ... Back soon.

1:59 p.m. - 2001-06-15


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