othelladub's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Remains I'm just in a state of lethargy right now. The events of tuesday kind of put things like diaryland in perspective. Looking at my own diary entries, and those of friends and acquaintances, something doesn't jive. It all seems so frivolous. I'm not concerned with getting laid, or having a relationship. That kind of thing - It's just hard for me to justify to myself that thinking about my own personal shit is relevant or important right now. I've never really enjoyed focusing too much on myself to begin with, so all this shit going down just makes me tired, sad, and feeling drained. The above is not entirely true, I suppose. I love attention and affection, especially from cute, nerdy girls I am fond of. That definitely fuels me and keeps me grounded. The only thing I can say about peace of mind is that I feel very close to people who are of the "Practical Dreamer" variety. I'm not alone in hurting. People everywhere are hurting, and allowing myself to feel hurt, when I don't know where it comes from, particularly, or how to dispose of it - leaves me feeling as if I don't exactly have a podium to stand on - a reason to worry about my foibles and problems. I'm sure that this world is more fucked up than ever. But more and more people are beginning to see that, and there's some room for optimism. I pray that people the world over can grow to love each other beyond the boundaries of our prejudices. We all have work to do. Seeing people giving blood and reaching out to each other is something which shows our true potential as human beings. We will be ok. This life will pass, but we will be ok. 6:57 p.m. - 2001-09-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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