Lies
mistressmuse: hey
othelladublin: hey, what's up?
othelladublin: I was worried I wasn't gonna see you today
mistressmuse: I'm here briefly
mistressmuse: hows it going?
othelladublin: all right
othelladublin: did you read my e-mail earlier?
mistressmuse: I did
mistressmuse: so I will be in Cali in three weeks
othelladublin:
othelladublin: really?
mistressmuse: yeah
mistressmuse: I just can't take this lingering indecisiveness
othelladublin: what did you think of my e-mail? did it make sense? how do you feel about if?
mistressmuse: so I think that maybe in face we can clear up a few things
mistressmuse: and come to some sort of conclusion
mistressmuse: however vague it may be
mistressmuse: well it made sense
othelladublin: shit, you sound like you don't want it to be good
othelladublin: I mean, you're just coming down for a visit for the time being, right?
mistressmuse: what I understood from it is that you are afraid of the feelings you have and need something tangible and definite
othelladublin: yeah, but at the same time, you made this big life change
mistressmuse: that you want something real
mistressmuse: oh Brian, what I am doing here I could be doing anywhere
mistressmuse: even in Cali
othelladublin: and I don't want to force you to uproot yourself again! if it's not something you really want
mistressmuse: with you
othelladublin: well, the rent is more expensive down here
othelladublin: don't get me wrong, I want you here more than you know
mistressmuse: tell me
mistressmuse: be explicit about your overhwelming desire for me
othelladublin: but I don't want you to second-guess yourself when you're with me
othelladublin: I just feel good when I'm around you, and I think it would be only intensified if we were dating
othelladublin: and I'm not saying you have to get engaged to me - good god - I mean, we'd be living apart, so we could date and
othelladublin: god, I just want to hold you
othelladublin: but I don't want you to leave something up there, that, for all I know, could be better than what I can offer
othelladublin: I'm not an easy boyfriend to have
othelladublin: and I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't want to be with you
mistressmuse: I know
othelladublin: otherwise, I'd play up my good aspects, of course
othelladublin: but you know most of those already, and besides, I think confidence is displayed by not being afraid to admit your faults
mistressmuse: you know what/
othelladublin: ?
mistressmuse: I think that this could be volatile and exhilirating
othelladublin: I know
mistressmuse: but we will see what happens in three weeks
othelladublin: well, how long will you be here?
othelladublin: I'm assuming you're doing this as a test run, and you'll see how it goes when you're here
othelladublin: that's the thing that kind of scares me, like I really have to impress you when you're here
othelladublin: DAMN ME, for showing weakness!
othelladublin: but seeing you under any circumstances is better than not seeing you at all
othelladublin: I mean, I know that I care about you already, because I know how upset I was when we got into that argument phase right before you left - that tore me up
mistressmuse: brian
mistressmuse: have alittle hope
othelladublin: I do
mistressmuse: i'll see you soon
mistressmuse: and i will write even sooner than that
mistressmuse: but i have to go for now
othelladublin: write me, k? I get as much out of your mails as you do from mine
othelladublin: think about me, ok?
othelladublin: I miss you
mistressmuse: me too
mistressmuse: more than you could possibly fathom
Yahoo! Messenger: mistressmuse has logged out. (4/27/01 at 8:55 PM)
12:44 p.m. - 2002-11-11
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