othelladub's Diaryland Diary

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fact-checking

Stimuli-inflicted disorders of the 21st Century

1. Attention Excess Disorder (AED): Wherein the subject maintains an absolute, laserlike focus upon one principle idea, to the exclusion of nearly all else.

2. Internet Love Disorder (ILD): Wherein one mistakenly filters the concept of attention into the emotions of love, with neither being wholly accurate or complete.

3. Line Weight Infatuation (LWI): This affliction takes a heavy toll on the person affected. LWI has been known to result in angry carping, masculine histrionics, and more than a little personal anguish. Common sufferers include (but are not limited to) Comic-Book Afficionados, Consumers of Pornography, Out-of-work Costumed-Disney Animals, and fatuous purveyors of flatulence.

4. Greener Pastures Disorder (GPD): Common among folks in heavily populated, metropolitan areas. Also prevalent among individuals in rural communities, longing for life in the big city.

5. 1-Hour Insanity Clause (1HRD): Also known as 1-hour disorder, this affliction commonly strikes women for a period ranging from 30 minutes to a full hour, immediately following orgasm. This should not be confused with B2TV (Back-to-TV Disorder), an experience striking men at roughly the same time, due to biological drives as yet undetermined. *

*(due to the inconsistency and general fallacy of statements or pronouncements vomited during this one-hour refractory period, all information relayed must be immediately assumed false, and, at the very least, fact-checked with at least 3 autonomous credible sources.)

11:34 p.m. - 2003-05-06

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