othelladub's Diaryland Diary


the neon burning bright ;

Well folks, here we are again. Same place, different time. What are ya'll up to? I'm sitting here - typing - with the heat from my space heater burning up the right side of my face (ear, especially).

Not much to complain about. Too much pudding in my system, perhaps. Downed 3 individual packages. All chocolate. I prefer the vanilla, really, but I'd already picked those clean.

I've been substitute teaching. Elementary kids have a great deal of energy. High School kids aren't too far off from what I remember. Haven't subbed for any junior highs yet. I fear such an adventure.

Going to APEcon in a few weeks. Looking forward to meeting some cool comics' folk, and spending a tiny amount of cash. I just want to have fun & meet people. Continue on the path of my dreams.

Because, as Jake Hurley of Flashdance! reminds us,
"When you give up your dreams - you die."

Watched the OC last night. Not much there anymore. Still enjoying the comics references, though. I noticed that they mentioned Chabon's Kavalier and Clay - that's pretty awesome. And I'm looking forward to the scintillating, hardcore tryst between Marissa's mom and Marissa's ex. I'd drop their names, but I don't know or care, so that's a dead point. Really, its all about Seth. He's living the fanboy dream. God love 'im. Though he may be fictional, he propels action in his mastery of comic-book geek chic. He propels Watchmen, Kavalier & Clay, and Comic-Con International into the janetjacksonsphere of our collective mental noise.

I'm not sure why everyone's in such a hurry to settle down and set in concrete the next 20-30 yrs of life. Marriage, Career - those seem such permanent things. If they were truly secure - if they did have some degree of certainty - perhaps I could see the appeal.

But what about life? What about the 19-year-old college kid who wants to live and breathe and smoke and drink and gamble and ache? Where is that in all the Home and Garden television? Where is that in the Stove-Top Stuffing, the Alignment Lasers, the 30-year lease? Where are we when we commit to a predetermined future? Where has our soul gone, when we can't ride the air, and love each other freely beyond contract?

Perhaps it is simple fear on my part. I envy the stability, even as I fear the stagnation. I want something new, but something I can trust.

Life often offers us old things we can trust and new things we can't. And sometimes I want the old things to have the ability to transform: to emerge from the cocoon like a white moth; to fly in front of my nose and remind me that love is real. Time is imaginary. And we all used to be silly little kids who wanted nothing more than affection and warmth.

New in Stores!!!
The Best American Nonrequired Reading, 2003

"Her voice is velvet - Ladies and gentlemen, Norah Jones!!"

Scathing Review of a fine film : Geocities Flashdance Trashing!

10:52 a.m. - 2004-02-12


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