othelladub's Diaryland Diary


light my fire: the beautiful women remix!

Beautiful Women Power-Rankings : THE REMIX

Scorchingly hot in '05!


Can it be? Can I have so callously neglected my duties as purveyor of all that is pants-popping, zipper-flipping, and delicious in the world of bootylicious film, prose, and entertainment?

I say thee - YEA!!! And this - this shall be henceforth rectified. Let the listing begin!!


10. Samaire Armstrong

This fantastic femme first caught the eyes of fanboys during her recurring cameo role on the first season of the OC, portraying Anna Stern, a female comic-book fanatic with marvel comics curves to boot! Season two, despite the Summer/Seth rain-soaked "Spidey Kiss," has been somewhat lacking. Also appeared on season one of the underrated HBO series Entourage.

9. Sienna Miller

She should really be ranked higher, but I haven't yet confirmed her scorching hotness. She liquified celluloid in Alfie, and is the type of girl who will appear from the ether in a Burger King line or at the County Library - momentarily shattering one's grip of time and space - only to slink from view just as the brain refocuses and begins to assimilate the possibility of one so
brain-lockingly stunning.

8. Natalie Portman

Gains points for her versatility and depth in Closer, loses a few for the paycheck gig of Revenge of the Sith.

7. Paula Abdul

No, she's not hotter than Portman, Miller, or Armstrong; but I hear she puts out. (And if you can't get behind this American Idol judge, there are hordes of potential contestants eager to gain insight from the tutelage only she can provide!) Straight up, indeed!

6. - TIE - Rachel Bilson/Brittany Murphy

One rattled a rapper's chain in 8-Mile, the other dressed up for her tv (and, last we heard, real-life) boyfriend as Wonder-Woman. Both are diminutive - yet pack a powerful booty-poppin' punch! Exemplify the fantastic advantages of life in America. Both look good with various shades of eye shadow applied. This year, they tie at #6, but next year, it could be #1!

5. Coral - Real World:Back to New York, Seventy-Five Real World/Road Rules Challenges

STOP! Stop already!! You had me at "I beat bitches up!!".
The best-looking, most intelligent, cleverly bitchy female ever to appear on any reality television program. Ever.

4. Rosario Dawson


3. Lucy Liu

Superhot. Her "Ling" character from Ally Mcbeal was off the chain. Also gets points for being referenced by Andre 3000 in the recent Outkast classic, "Hey Ya." And she hasn't appeared anywhere as of late, and that must change.

2. Michelle Rodriguez

This is one bad-ass bitch. And I, for one, like me some badass bitches. A+

1. THREE-WAY-TIE: Scarlett Johannsen, Sarah Polley, America Ferrera

As there is no clear-cut top-notch female this month, I had to go with three: America Ferrera, for her brief turn as a skate-groupie in Lords of Dogtown. Scarlett Johannsen, for magnifying her hotness with each progressive film: moving from cute to lovely to oh-my-god-she-absolutely-crazy-hot! - and Sarah Polley for progressive politics, fantastic acting, and being hot as a flamethrower in the often-forgotten, better-than-it-seems, mid-90s, GO.

Honorable Mentions: Maura Tierney, for years of hotness on ER. Zooey Deschanel, for stealing my heart while watching Hitchiker's Guide and Almost Famous. And, of course, Jennifer Beals - still inspiring welder/dancers from Pittsburgh, 20 years later.

10:42 p.m. - 2005-06-06


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