othelladub's Diaryland Diary

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memories of the future

Shoes in the blood. Quick, fast, dirty, and cheap. Arabic strings in silver, wrapped around warm foreheads.

Lips glossy, with cracking pain. Sandalwood virus - difficult in the heat.

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I'm not awake these past few weeks. My mind shifts from a clearness to something murky. I'm pretty straightforward, I think. I try not to lie to people. Sometimes its difficult to tell the truth when I don't know what that is. It's easy to talk about ourselves, but quite tender to look at some of our weak spots.

I want to be consistent with what I say. I want it to mean something. But it is so hard to do that. It's hard to be true to who I was six months ago, or who I'm going to be six months from now.

I probably shouldn't worry about shit so much.

I should probably just be true to who I am now.

10:56 p.m. - 2002-01-22

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