othelladub's Diaryland Diary

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I am a young man who is old

maybe he liked the attention.

maybe he was an evil, inconsiderate prick.

maybe he was absentminded.

maybe he found her attractive, but didn't know how to express it, or focus his desires.

maybe he was fucked in the head.

maybe everyone is fucked in the head, and it depends on the timing, situation, & type of car a person drives.

maybe it's the grade of the earth one stands on.

maybe it's the creepy street in venice - palms.

maybe it's oregon.

maybe it's casey, from long long ago.

maybe it's stupid to major in english partly because you were unhealthily obsessed with some blonde hemingway expert who thinks you need serious psychological counseling.

maybe you do.

maybe you're just immature.

maybe you're cool 50-70% of the time - a fucking idiot 30-50% of the time

maybe you like women who treat you like shit.

maybe they love you, even though they treat you like shit.

maybe you love yourself - but you're young and bored.

maybe you wish you were illiterate.

maybe you wish you were brown.

maybe you wish you had money

maybe you don't give a fuck and everyone can do their own thing, and you can do yours.

Maybe it's ok to be angry and sad.

to be worried and mad.

to be cliched and glad.

to not be a dad (whew!)

I think i'll try to avoid anesthetizing myself to the shit of the world. i'll-just-have-to-deal

and it will make me a better person.

less flaky - for sure

11:36 p.m. - 2002-05-16

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